In a recent and heart-wrenching incident, a Nigerian lady took to social media platform, X, to mourn her sister, 36-year-old Sarah Adesanya, who was allegedly killed by her boyfriend.
She reported that after killing her sister, the man subsequently took his own life.
Sadly, this devastating event took place in spite the desperate efforts of her sister to rescue her from the clutches of the abusive relationship. The sister said she had long been aware of the abuse and acts of violence by her boyfriend as a neighbour had reached out to her sometime last year to ask her to come and save her sister who, according to the neighbour, had been undergoing physical assault.
She attempted to intervene and extricate her loved one from harm’s way but the efforts proved futile as her sister denied being abused.
The matter was further compounded as the legal system presented a formidable obstacle.
The police, when approached with a report, cited a policy that restricts action unless the victim herself files a complaint. This limitation, though rooted in legal frameworks, reveals a critical gap in addressing situations where victims may not recognise the extent of their suffering or be incapacitated by psychological conditions like Stockholm syndrome.
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response wherein a captive begins to identify closely with his or her captors, as well as with their agenda and demands. It is said to be a coping mechanism to a captive or abusive situation wherein people develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time. This condition applies to situations such as child abuse, coach-athlete abuse, relationship abuse and sex trafficking.
The incident parallels other cases where concerned individuals, attempting to report abuse on behalf of someone else, faced similar bureaucratic barriers.
In a parallel account, another person narrated how she reported a similar case but encountered resistance at the social welfare department. The response echoed the police’s stance, emphasising the necessity of the victim initiating the report. This prompts a broader discussion on the systemic barriers that hinder the protection of vulnerable individuals.
These incidents typify why existing laws must be revisited to empower third-party reports and interventions in cases where victims may be unable to seek help themselves. The call for legal reform is urgent, reflecting the need for a more proactive and preventive approach to domestic abuse. Policies should recognise the nuanced dynamics of abusive relationships, acknowledging that victims may not always be in a position to speak up or take actions for themselves.
The central argument for change revolves around the complexity of abuse dynamics. Victims may grapple with psychological conditions that cloud their judgment, rendering them unable to perceive their situation accurately. In such cases, the insistence on victims filing reports poses a significant obstacle to timely intervention.
Efforts to change these policies should be complemented by a broader cultural shift. Breaking the silence surrounding domestic abuse requires not only legal reforms but also societal awareness and understanding. Stigmatisation of victims, often steeped in cultural nuances, perpetuates a culture of silence. Victims may fear judgment, ostracism, or the stigma associated with leaving an abusive relationship. Addressing this societal stigma is, therefore, crucial in creating an environment where victims feel safe to speak out.
In addition to this, fostering a culture of self-love and empowerment is essential. Encouraging victims to prioritise their well-being and recognise signs of abuse is an important step towards breaking free from toxic relationships. Sensitisation campaigns aimed at empowering individuals with the knowledge to identify and address abusive behaviour could play a fundamental role in prevention.
Parents, too, play a critical role in creating a safety net for their children. Building open lines of communication and fostering an environment where children feel they can return home without judgment provides an additional layer of support. Knowing they have a loving family to turn to can empower individuals to escape abusive situations.
The latest tragic incident underscores the pressing need for comprehensive change in how the society, legal systems, and cultural norms address domestic abuse. Reforming policies to accommodate third-party reports, challenging societal stigmas, and empowering individuals with knowledge are important steps towards creating a safer environment for victims.
It is a collective responsibility to break the silence surrounding domestic abuse and ensure that no one suffers in silence and unable to seek the help they desperately need.
