Idoma people still hold onto traditional wedding despite the presence of Christianity and Islam.
The Idoma occupy the nine local governments of Ado, Agatu, Apa, Obi, Ohimini, Ogbadibo, Oju, Okpokwu and Otukpo in Benue State.
But in this story, 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE captures the marriage traditional rites in Okpokwu and Ado as given by indigenes of the two local governments.
Conventionally, a man and woman would have to meet, know each other and from there, consent to be husband and wife. This is the same in these two areas.
In Okpokwu, the process starts with a potential suitor first visiting the mother of his heartthrob to state his intention. “It has to be the mother to be visited first by the potential groom,“ emphasizes Emmanuel Obagwu, 67, who hails from Okpafie in Onkonbo, Edumoga in Okpokwu LGA.
Mr. Obagwu, who has been married to a fellow Okpokwu lady for more than 30 years, told 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE that at that first visit, the mother of the lady would ascertain the family background of the suitor. “Armed with that, the mother would now notify her husband of what is going on, paving the way for the second visit by the suitor, Okpokwu said.
“The suitor would now return to see the father of his would-be wife,” Okpokwu added. The father too, as did his wife, tries to determine if the young man is from a good family through routine questioning. After this, there would be a third visit.
“For the third visit, the suitor would come along with his parents, carrying along kolanuts, wine, and other beverages. Both families would meet and familiarize themselves with each other for the first time.
“After that, the lady’s family would invite their daughter to confirm if she really knows and wants to marry the man. Her response would determine the next line of action.
It is important for the two families to determine the suitability of bonding among the families and to see if their wards would make for a good marriage, Obagwu said.
He said when this stage is concluded and both families are agreeable to each other, the stage would be set for the wedding proper.
Monica Ochono-John, 30, a nurse said in Ado, the groom has to visit the father first and not anyone else. Ochono said she has witnessed three marriage ceremonies in her homeland, and “Ado people attach great importance to the first visit personally undertaken by the would-be groom.”
After this, the suitor would undertake a second visit, this time accompanied by his parents taking along with them wine, kolanuts, other alcoholic drinks and beverages for presentation to the bride’s family, said Monica, adding that this will be preceded by formally agreeing that the young couple can be allowed to traditionally get married.
She said after this, a list of the materials expected of the would-be husband would be handed over to him. “He is expected to buy wrappers, boxes, depending on his financial capacity, a live goat, kolanuts, and assorted drinks, among others.
“Then the pride price would be set and paid. If the suitor is non-Idoma, he is to pay between N60,000 and N70,000, while as Idoma, the suitor is to pay between N40,000 and N50,000,” Monica said. With this stage done, both families would now prepare for the wedding.
Akpana and live goat
“On the wedding day, all the items and materials bought for the girl and the ones meant for entertainment would be carried by as many of the bride’s relatives as possible. These relations all would queue behind the bride who is well dressed, clutching two horse tails one each in both hands. She must adorn original traditional bids known as Akpana hung around her neck.
“The bride, with traditional drummers entertaining, would then lead the procession with all those items and materials. They will pass through the main market square to terminate at a traditionally erected Ofu (gate).
“When the procession gets to the Ofu, there is a live goat laid down, the bride must cross over the animal to end the procession. The goat would be taken and slaughtered. It will be used as part of the entertainment. With this, the wedding has been done, and a new couple is born.”
Ochono John said the bride must cross over the goat as a spiritual ritual “for her protection and purity and a check on her against infidelity.” If later in her marriage, she becomes unfaithful, “she would be on her own,” meaning, she will bear whatever repercussions her action brings on her, Ochono-John concluded.
The bride price
For the Okpokwu people, bride price is determined by both direct and indirect weddings. “Direct wedding is when the bride price is paid partially,” Obagwu said.
He said indirect wedding is when the suitor cannot pay the stated dowry and asks to be given a time to do so. “The dowry is mostly about N100,000,” said Obagwu, adding that dowry is never paid at once, but in instalments
The process of dowry payment in Idoma land is a lot of talk and consultations, beginning first with agreement on the Echonya Ominye (the dowry) between both families who would each appoint a delegation of four men and a spokesman. “It could drag into the night of the wedding day,” Obagwu said.
“The delegation, who all move into a separate room away from the crowd, bargain and finally reach an agreement. A part of the dowry would be paid, say N50,000. It would be used to purchase entertainment items that would be used later in the day.”
Another important aspect of marriage in Okpokwu is the practice of handing over the bride to someone that Obagwu described as ‘surety’. “The bride’s family would ask their in-laws to produce someone to stand as surety to them. It is mostly an elderly man. When he is produced, the bride would be handed over to him, to be given to the head of the groom’s family who in turn hands her over to the groom. Then prayers would be said, and the wedding will be concluded”, Obagwu said.
