Even though it is universal not to speak ill of the dead, however, there are salient issues and a lot to be said about the death of a commissioner in Borno State last Saturday in a Guest House. He was found dead while a woman beside him was unconscious but she also died at the hospital.
Engr. Ibrahim Idriss Garba was Commissioner for Rehabilitation, Reconstruction, and Resettlement. He died at his Guest House in 777 Housing Estate in Maiduguri, which is on the outskirts of town.
When I first heard the story on the radio there was static, as such it was not clear so I didn’t grasp the whole story. Therefore I thought he died at his house and his family was not there, perhaps they had traveled.
But when I heard about a woman beside him, I said “Which woman?” Then later I found the whole story, which is tragic for the family, not only because of his death but the circumstances surrounding it.
“The wife (widow) would not be happy,” a friend observed.
Of course yes. She would mourn, but that hurt would be there forever, and the unanswered nagging questions of how and why?
In any event, this is a lesson for men who are fond of taking girlfriends or prostitutes to designated places.
Every now and then we hear of a death of a man or a woman in a hotel room. The partner may have run away or been arrested. Some of these men are actually married.
All the same, a Guest House connotes something distasteful and suspicious to married women. These houses meant to offer accommodation to guests that come to states are turned into convenient places to take women by the privileged people that can use them at will. They are safer and more convenient than a hotel and besides, you don’t pay for their use.
Some men lie to their wives that they are traveling only to end up in a Guest House for the weekend! They must have made arrangements to be very careful not to be spotted by anyone who is not in the know that they are indeed in town. Such is the extent of deception that may come to haunt them if they are found out.
But what legacy do you want to leave your children? No matter what, the manner of how you die counts, and if it is in the circumstances of being with another woman somewhere the tale would be carried for generations.
If your wife finds out, is it worth the quarrel and distrust that follow? Or even cause the end of your marriage?
Though as usual the wife would be prevailed upon to forgive and accept that as a man he might fall into such temptation and therefore it was not an issue. Can you imagine?
Strangely in some cases, the wives accept this waywardness if the husbands are wealthy and they are comfortable. They weigh their options and sacrifice their happiness for material comfort. Their heart may be laden with pain of the knowledge, but they present outward civility to the husbands so as not to ‘offend ‘them.
“I have to accept it, he is a man. What can I do?” Some would say.
It is this defeatist attitude that emboldens the men to cheat and dare the wives to do their worst.
Some parents may even blame their daughter and abuse her for challenging her husband. They would tell her that as a woman there are certain things she must endure and accept from her husband as ‘all women do.’
No matter the liberties they take, men should be considerate because if the bubble bursts it is not only the wife that would be affected. It would engulf parents, children, relations, and friends.
A Guest House should be strictly used for its purpose. The privilege of having one at your disposal does not give you the right to turn it into a place for yourself and your friends to take other women.
