Father’s Day was celebrated recently and there were obvious attempts by women to ‘hijack’ the celebration.
A lot of women, particularly single mothers, took to the social media to celebrate themselves and some children also used the opportunity to celebrate their mothers.
One of my friends who is raising a child alone said someone called to wish her a Happy Father’s Day and she made it clear that she takes exceptions to being referred to as a father because she is a mother and is content being that to her child.
There’s been a lot of argument about the propriety of women celebrating themselves on Father’s Day, with those against it saying women should not make the day about themselves, especially as there are more than enough Mothers Day celebrations every year.
Can we ever have enough Mothers Day celebrations? Can we ever celebrate our mothers enough? I digress.
The same reason I do not subscribe to women identifying as king, to show that they are powerful is the same reason I find women identifying as, celebrating themselves or asking to be celebrated because they play the role of father in the lives of their children on Father’s Day loathsome.
Some may argue that as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, there is nothing wrong with women celebrating themselves on a day reserved for me but I beg to differ.
Women celebrating themselves on a day set aside to celebrate men, to my mind, waters down the enormous power they wield as women.
A woman is God’s strongest creation in my opinion.
Even in families where the mother and father are present, the propensity for children to naturally gravitate towards their mothers is higher and the reason for this is not farfetched. A woman goes above and beyond for her children.
Nigerian women have ruled kingdoms as queens without having the need to identify as kings, even in pre-colonial times and did exploits
In pre-colonial Nigeria, we had female traditional rulers who wielded a lot of power and influence, including in the conservative North. The likes of Queen Amina of Zazzau, Zaria, Kaduna State, Queens Daura, Kofono, Gulfano, Yawano, Yakania, Walsam, Cadar, Agagri, all of Daura Emirate in Katsina State and Queen Kanbasa of Bonny in Rivers State. Others are Regent Monarchs Ayo-Ero and Eye-Moi of Akure, Ondo State, Ooni of Ife, Luwo Gbadiaya of Ife, Osun State and Alaafin Jomijomi and Jepojepo of Oyo State.
In contemporary times, we have Queen Queen Hajia Ahmed of Kunbwada, Munya, Niger State whose authority her subjects submit to without contest. She didn’t need to identify as a king to earn their obeisance.
Queen Elizabeth II is one of the most powerful people in the world!
Words like chairman should be gender-neutral and shouldn’t be perceived as sexist, particularly as linguists aver that the ‘man’ in the word derived its origin from ‘manus’, the Latin word for ‘hand’ but since the 1990s, there has been pressure for non-sexist inclusive language which brought about words like chairperson into our lexicon.
Isn’t it contradictory that the same women would rather be kings and fathers now?
This struggle is not necessary at all, the way I see it.
Just as a mother’s place cannot be replaced by a father in a child’s life, so also can a father’s place not be replaced, no matter how many ‘pants’ the woman wears. It doesn’t matter if he is a dead beat father. He is still a father regardless, but a bad one.
There have been arguments that a man who gives birth to a child but is not present in the life of the child is not deserving of the father title. I agree to the extent that he may be called a father but the prefix ‘bad’ should be added.
We live in a society where there are so many absent fathers. Consequently, so many women are responsible for their children; there is an alarming rate of role reversal in the society, the down side being however that while women have taken up roles of absent fathers, not many men are able to take up the role of a mother in the home and in the child’s life.
People who claim to be woke may even tell you fathers are not necessary when the woman can conveniently wear both hats, downplaying the emotional, psychological and physical security they bring to the home and in a child’s life.
A number of studies have found that boys who grow up without their fathers or a father figure in their lives are aggressive, more susceptible to crime and violence and other hyper-masculine behaviour.
A girl will often deal with insecurities and struggle with affirmation without a father figure in her life.
This is just as a lot of people grew up without a father and have turned out very well, thanks to their mothers. But wouldn’t we rather have our fathers as part of the mix?
Make no mistake, mothers raising kids on their own are doing an amazing job which value cannot be quantified and the children see and appreciate this.
If their biological fathers are absent and deadbeat, on Father’s Day, let them celebrate the father figures in their lives. Those ones too, even though not biological, deserve to have the centre stage on such days. There are men who play key roles in raising children and some of these men do not have their own children. They are single men fathering other people’s children. Such a day should be used to teach children that fatherhood goes beyond blood, hence the need to celebrate the other father figures helping to shape their lives.
The way I see it, women insisting on celebrating themselves on Father’s Day amounts to raining on the parade of fathers and takes away from the essence of the day.
You rarely see men celebrating themselves on Mothers Day yet there are men who are mothers to their children.
Mothers are not fathers and fathers are not mothers. We have two genders and different days to celebrate the respective genders. But if both genders insist on taking over each other’s day, we might as well scrap both and replace with Parents Day.
