Yesterday, Friday June 6, 2025 being the 10th day of the Islamic lunar month of Dhul-Hijjah was this year’s Eid ul-Kabir or Big-Sallah (as it is popularly called) in Nigeria. It’s an occasion upon which Muslims offer animal sacrifices to commemorate the initial sacrifice made by Prophet Ibrahim, Alayhi s-Salam (AS). Prophet Ibrahim (AS)’s submission to Allah and Prophet Ismail (AS)’s absolute loyalty to his father’s wish and Allah’s command both reflect the height of obedience in human history.
Eid ul-Kabir is an occasion to, once again, appreciate a singular dimension of obedience. To properly understand the import of obedience as taught by Islam, a recap of the Qur’anic story of how Prophet Ibrahim (AS) and his son Ismail (AS) respectively expressed submission to Allah is relevant on this occasion. The brazen disrespect by some children often exhibited towards their parents is today a cause of concern in some Nigerian homes.
When Prophet Ibrahim (AS) saw a vision in which he was commanded to offer his son, Ismail (AS) in sacrifice, the latter consented and submitted wholeheartedly to his father’s wish without asking questions or raising any objections. The vision seen by Ibrahim (AS) occurred at the valley of Mina, few kilometers north of Makkah where a commemoration sacrifice is annually conducted as a rite of pilgrimage on the 10th day of Dul-Hijjah. This courteous brand of submission by Ismail (AS) to his father’s wish, which involved the supreme price, is the height of obedience to parents. It is the same aggregate of obedience that is expected from every responsible child towards his parents. This is the message from the Big-Sallah we are celebrating.
Ismail (AS)’s positive response illustrates absolute obedience to his father and total submission to Allah’s wish. A disobedient child would rather challenge the authenticity of a ‘common’ dream, which should simply be ignored. Such a rebellious child would openly show resistance to the fiat received in the dream by asking his father to explain why, when and how of the vision. A Gen-Z and digitally-minded child would ask his father to allow him to explore Artificial Intelligence (AI) for alternatives to the sacrifice. Where the father is one of those apologetic parents, he would arrange a meeting with his son to discuss how convenient the latter finds the message of the vision. Such parents are also part of the problem in the moral upbringing of children.
The general attitude of many of today’s children particularly from elitist homes is regrettably a negation of the character symbolized in Ismail’s submission to his father’s vision. The relationship that exists between some children and their parents completely contradicts the teachings of Qur’an 17: 23-24 wherein Allah states, “Thy lord had decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents, whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour; And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.”
The contempt that is characteristic of contemporary children is a disturbing trend and an embarrassment to persons who qualify to be called ‘senior citizens.’ The frustration from having a defiant child is worse if the parents were typical Nupe natives. In a conservative Nupe society, for example, a man no matter his age remains a ‘child as long as his parents were alive; meaning that he lacks the maturity to take certain decisions including the naming of his children at birth. Obedience to parents and even teachers or community elders in Nupe land meant obedience to everything they owned including their personal belongings such as books, domestic animals, etc. Non-Nupe natives are free to describe it as “taking obedience too far.”
Modern-day defiant children see their parents as a ‘compendium’ of dos and don’ts. They scold or snub their parents as if the latter were their children. Only a cursed child would pack out of his father’s house to join those who can never take the place of a father or mother in their life. An agreement had to be, once, reached at a court in one of the states in north-west Nigeria for a monthly stipend to be paid by a son to his father whom the former had abandoned. Stupid children don’t even feel for their sick or aged parents. For such, it is “let the man die so that I can inherit my share of his wealth”. A child is genuinely obedient if he allows his parents’ wish, as demonstrated by Ismail (AS), prevail over his own interest.
Sometimes, women tend to be the weight behind some maladjusted children in morally-bankrupt homes. Yet, women suffer more when the law of diminishing return catches up with ill-bred children. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Paradise is at the feet of our mothers”. Imam Muslim relates on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (SAW) said whoever had (and lived with) aged parent(s), either one or both of them, and fails to enter Al-Jannah should blame himself”. Parents are too important to be molested.
Remember that you are an irresponsible child if your parents would be the first to greet you when you meet them. You aren’t also a good ambassador of your parents if you are short of the virtues they possess. The one who snubs, shuns or deserts his/her parents isn’t an obedient and righteous child. He’s silly! You cannot be the pride of your parents if, for any reason, you walk out on them. It is an insult of the highest order when a child possesses the means to take care of his parent(s) but decides to forsake them. A man once approached the Prophet (SAW) and declared his readiness to migrate and fight (Jihad) for Islam but the Prophet (SAW) responded saying, “If you need reward from Allah, return to your parents and take good care of them.”
You are learned even without going to school if you will do the right thing at the right time without waiting for your parents to tell you to do so. You remain a ‘wealthy’ child even without money if your moral conduct can take you to every place without your parents having to follow you. You are virtuously a blessed child as long as you help your parents in their trades or occupations as farmers, traders, etc.
The road to sacrifice begins with obedience. Submission to God, parents and constituted authority is a sure pathway to genuine sacrifices. You are a bad child if you cannot starve or die for your parents to survive. Only a good child would buy a house for his parents while he lives in a rented accommodation. Parents sacrificed so many things for their children to survive. Like Ismail (AS), may Allah (SWT) guide us to unreservedly remain dutiful to our parents, amin. Happy Sallah!
