Any show of weakness in terms of being rejected or jilted as they say is usually associated with women, who find it more difficult to accept the humiliation.
Some men feel that it is better for a woman to reject them than for them to reject her. They feel they can bear it more and look forward to another possibility, whereas for a girl it may linger and affect her self esteem.
Women share this view, perhaps more vehemently. In terms of arranged marriage, some say, “It is better for the girl to refuse than for the boy.”
Besides, young girls are known to run away or hide somewhere even when not being jilted but if they are prevented from marrying the man they love and they are made to marry those they don’t love. Some scream and bawl, some however give up although they cry incessantly, but you never hear such a man, if not running away at least crying his eyes out!
It is therefore strange that a twenty- six -year old young man in Kano attempted to kill himself on Tuesday because his girlfriend dumped him for another man who is better off than him.
According to the story, Tijjani Abubakar of Gama in Brigade area of Nasarawa Local Government Area of Kano State attempted to kill himself by drinking insecticide.
But he was saved by his brother who rushed with some people and snatched the bottle of the insecticide known as ota piya piya.
He said he took the decision because he could not live without her.
He said, “I was told that she is about to marry and that someone, not me, has already sent his parents to discuss the matter with her parents. That was why I decided to do this so that I won’t see the day.”
I only hope this is not a movie being played out by new-day romantics because as it is Hausa films are making our young men too soft, as you see young men in films crying with flowing tears and not due to the death of a loved one. It is usually because of love. Haba! If you ask me, men are being feminized . And they keep pledging, “I can’t live without you.”
Though it seems the trend in the Hausa films nowadays where men are surprisingly portrayed as weak, in fact in some cases weaker than women.
For instance if something drastic or shocking happens to the family it is the father that would slump and die, instead of him to be ‘manly’ and offer the family strength and courage. The family is left with the ’strong’ mother and the children to cater for themselves.
In other words the man could not withstand life’s upsetting eventualities, he just succumbs to pressure and gives up. This is far from reality, but they keep portraying such and some imitate it and play it in real life.
In any event, did Tijjani Abubakar really mean to commit suicide? A medical practitioner once told me that if a man wanted to commit suicide, he would commit it where he would not be found to be rescued, but women ‘s attempts were usually seeking for attention, crying for help. So they go for something that somebody would see and prevent them or take them to the hospital.
The irony is that in these half hearted suicide attempts, those loved ones whose the attempt was made because of them, are unlikely to change their hearts and come back.
As such even though it may be difficult and painful, it is better to be patient and move on, after all it is even a crime to commit suicide, and one can be charged for attempted suicide.
What some people do in such circumstances is to swear that they would never fall in love again or get married, they would never trust a man or a woman, whichever the case may be.
The extreme solution of committing suicide for being jilted is not the answer; many people have gone through it. They live to tell the story or even forget about it.
