The United Nations passed a resolution in 1993 to observe International Day of Families on May 15 every year to show the importance of family on the development of society.
In any event, the family unit is the bedrock of the society. Many things that go wrong or right start from the family.
And as a cohesive unit the family plays many roles such as home, comfort and refuge. It however depends on the sort of upbringing one gets.
Therefore in commemorating the 2021 International Day of Families, The Minister of Women Affairs, Mrs Pauline Tallen, challenged parents over children’s upbringing, urging them to join the fight against vices such as abduction, currently bedeviling the nation.
“We cannot forget those who in a bid to secure the release of family members from the hands of their captors, sold off everything due to increasing activities of bandits and kidnappers.
“I, therefore, call on fathers and mothers to join us in the fight against killings and abduction for ransom.
“Every bad egg out there causing mayhem is a product of a family. If we see something, let us say something to ensure that we win this fight, yes we can and the time is now,” she said in a statement.
Indeed as the minister said every bad egg is a product of a family consisting of a father, mother, sister, brother, uncle, aunt and so on.
So how has the family degenerated to this point of abduction, kidnappings, drug addiction, and rape by its members?
It is common to hear people lament of ‘children of nowadays’, when describing a disrespectable or stubborn child, but perhaps it should be ‘parents of nowadays.’ Who brought up the children by the way?
The ‘parents of nowadays’ feel that the way they were brought up was too strict and with changing times, their own children should not be brought up that way.
So their children dress anyhow and they allow it, saying it is fashion and “these days you cannot be too strict.”
That is why you would see young girls already dressed up before informing their mothers that they are going out, either to go a friend’s house or an aunt’s.
Respect and custom demand that if you want to go somewhere you ask your parents. If they give you permission you go, but if they refuse to allow you, you cannot go. But certainly not for you to pick up your handbag as a young girl and bid bye-bye to your mother.
The mothers don’t show anger, but when the daughters get used to behaving this way and become uncontrollable, they may become worried. In some cases it might be too late.
And where children start taking drugs, the parents look the other way and if informed by a concerned neighbour or relation, they would say, “He is not the only one.”
You still hear people narrate with nostalgia how in those days, a neighbour disciplined a neighbour’s child, even beat him if warranted and the parents of the child would be grateful. But these days it cannot happen because the parents would not tolerate that.
If a child is disciplined in school the parents would go and challenge the teacher or even report him at the police station.
However the family as a unit is not so for many people affected by insurgency where they are scattered in camps of Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) where there is no privacy.
The insurgency and banditry has created widows and orphans with no proper care , so it is a huge burden on all of us, not just on government since in one way or the other you are affected.
Another aspect to the family is the economic challenge where the husband as the breadwinner may not be able to put food on the table. The wives try to do petty trading as well as the children, but it is always not enough.
Some try to spend quality time with their family while some don’t give it any significance, believing that since they provide for them it is enough.
In this regard they don’t really know the character of their children and the children on the other hand get closer to other people that influence them.
The family unit needs all the support to bring up good members that can have positive impact on the society. Ultimately it is from where everybody springs from and therefore a member.
