The Fulani have an interesting marriage rites. These rites vary from one clan to the other. In this story, 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE reveals how these marriage rites are conducted by the Ba’aen Fulani who are dominant in Adamawa, northeast Nigeria.
When a man seeks the hand of a girl in Fulani culture, he sends emissaries from his family to parley with the woman’s family. In this meeting the man’s family tenders the request of marriage. Before now, he is made to wait for a while his request is considered. The waiting period is used to investigate the man’s character and moral standing in the society.
There is this culture of whipping (sharo) for would-be grooms who are contesting for a bride. Malam Bashir Bello Kakara, a Fulani from Fulbe Totrobe clan, told 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE that not all Fulani practice it.
“People tend to see the Fulani as a lump sum. This is not true. There are distinctive Fulani clans some of them are: Waiten, Ba’aen, Kauranko’en Wodaabe, Gadabanko’en Kiri’en, Fulbe Torotbe, among others,” he said.
Malam Bashir said though the clans are quite similar, they have some peculiarities and their natural rites also differ. He said the whipping of the groom is peculiar to the Wodaabe clan, who are mostly found in northern Katsina, Zamfara, Kebbi and predominantly southern Niger Republic.
In the Ba’aen clan tradition, the would-be groom’s family is also investigated to know the prevalence of divorce and how they handle their wives and how they are generally perceived. If his character is found to be wanting, he is told that the girl has not given an affirmative, or someone is already seeking her hand (polite rejection) rejection. If the investigation reveals the suitor in good light, he is sent a message to proceed.
These days the response is instant because the investigation is carried out as soon as the girl notifies her parents of a suitor.
Alhaji Tahir Raji shared his memorable wedding experience with 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE thus: The rite of Tanirde (engagement) commenced after my proposal was accepted. My family took with them several plates of kola nut, bags of salt, cartons of sweet and a token. I started putting boxes together. There are several boxes for the bride (jewelries, undies and clothes), a box for the bride’s mother and a box for her father and a box for aunties. Typically, these wrappers can be from minimum of 15 to 100 depending on groom’s finances, I gave 100.”
Alhaji Raji said he told his wife’s parents he will come for the next rite in two months. They accepted; some in-laws rejected the date because they needed time to prepare.
Damburdu is practice of confining the bride and her friends. The bride is washed and cleaned and perfumed and she and her friends are patterned with henna in preparation for Kamu.
Traditionally, Kamu is the next rite which is a celebration that brings everyone together. For this rite, “I sent a cow, for the feeding of guests, a few expensive wrappers, ceremonial clothes, shoes, jewelries and all that my bride wore for this rite,” Raji said.
Hasiya Modibbo, another Adamawa Fulani explained how the Kamu rite is performed. “On the eve of the wedding, the would-be bride is dressed in a one piece new wrapper, tied around her chest and sleepers. She sits on a mortar inside their compound and surrounded by aunts,” she said.
She added that the Kamu proceeds “when an old lady comes with a fresh cow milk mixed with a nice perfume inside a calabash. Then, she gulps the milk and spread it on the body of the sitting bride with the other women chanting songs (guda). From there, she would begin to bath the bride with the milk reciting some invocations, while the others continue chanting their songs.”
After this rite, the old woman that performs the Kamu would be given the piece of wrapper and the sleepers used by the bride during the Kamu. This rite is significant because it portends good omen for the bride as she begins the journey to her matrimonial home.
Malam Raji said a day after the Kamu, my uncle paid the Sadaqi (Muslim bride price) accompanied with kolanuts and dates. My bride was accompanied with so many things from household items like food stuffs, plates and kettles and daily utilitarian things to fabrics, perfumes and electronics,” he said.
The rite of Pauta is a fraction removed from the items the bride brings and given to her groom’s family.
Mallam Kasim Bello who also shared his experience with this newspaper said he accompanied the boxes with Sadaqi and in so doing his fiancé was already his bride from Islamic perspective. “All other things we did was just formality. So, my bride was brought to me after Kamu,” he said.
Amidst laughter, Kasim recalled, “I was so eager to be with my wife already. But the Sotol rite was so grueling. After Kamu the friends of my bride accompanied her to my house and my friends were to negotiate a price with them before her veil is opened.
“They (bride’s friends) were tyrants,” he laughed. “Unyielding, they kept on refusing our token until my friends gave a million naira this depends on capacity anyway. It was not funny that day this money is for her friends,” Kasim said.
“Traditionally, the brides bring snacks for entertainment of guests that will come and see us. Apart from chinchin, cupcakes, nakia, dubla, alkaki. And traditional Fulani snacks gulgulli, pataje and sassafa and variety of varieties of soft drinks. It was so many,” Kasim recalled.
The Fulani brides also bring along Borio with Manshanu with Kodde, a version of rice pudding shredded ghee and shredded meat. This meal has been enjoyed by Fulani for ages, it is very satisfying and filling.
