Anadoo and Bem wedded on a Saturday in Gboko, Benue State. And at the church wedding service, the pastor, while running through the order of service said, ‘’now we are on item 7.” The mood in the church changed immediately as some of the congregants turned their eyes sharply to the back door of the church, as though expecting someone. They thought it was time for food. And even though food is normally not served at weddings during the church service, it appeared like the item 7 that the pastor called out was food.
For many years, Items 7 has come to be known by many Nigerans as the time for food on the program. How this became like this is not clearly known, but Mallam Usman, a 43-year-old man while speaking to 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE said, he believed that food was normally the last item on the agenda at occasions, ‘although these days, this has slightly changed. Item 7 is no longer about food.
Item 7, according to Mallam Usman, apart from shifting from the rather beautiful pseudo for food at occasions has taken up an entirely different dimension where Nigerian’s scramble for food and souvenirs at occasions.
There have been videos on social media showing some Nigerians stuffing away food that they are given at weddings, anniversaries and other parties. In one of such videos, two ladies were seen ‘stealing’ the meat that they were served on rice, and stuffing it into their exotic clutch bag.
There were so many comments on that video. Some of the comments threw up a lot of issues relating to this new disturbing trend. Frank Nwafor, a Law student at the University of Abuja said ‘these girls betrayed their looks by stuffing cooked meat into their exotic bags’.
Nwafor went on to even analyze the price of the exotic bags ladies take to weddings. And then to imagine that such ladies will turn around and ‘steal’ cooked meat into the bags. He wondered if the meat was more expensive than the bag. ‘They didn’t even mind that oil from the meat will soil their stuff in the bag’’.
Another commentator asked, ‘but, why would one steal what already they are given’’?
Doris Musa, an event planner and baker in Lugbe area of Abuja told 21st CENTURY that she found it difficult to understand why people go for weddings and show so much greed by wanting to crab every souvenir that is been distributed. She attributed this to ‘entitlement mentality’. Musa said strangely, ‘you have an occasion, you planned for 50 people, but always end up with more than 500 people’’. Many of these people, she said, were not invited.
Musa narrated an experience where she was at a wedding, and saw two women who held onto one plastic bowl that had been handed out by one of the bridesmaids. All of the two women thinking she was the one handed the bowl, held tight on it and refused to let go. Musa said this created an embarrassing scene. To Musa, ‘those plastics are what these two women could afford to buy over and over, but they embarrassed themselves at the wedding’’.
Hassan Yusufu, 65 who became a grandfather narrated his own experience with a cousin of his who kept malice with him for two months after his daughter’s wedding. Yusufu said the cousin was not happy with the amount of food he was served at the wedding. The man considered himself an honorable member of the family who should have been served specially. But this, according to him, failed. And the blame came heavily on Yusufu at a family gathering two months later. Yusufu said he was shocked beyond words at this cousin of his.
Nathaniel Igwe is a young IT engineer who said his own experience was at a friend’s wedding where he was a member of the high table. He had excused himself and stepped out of the hall briefly. On returning, he saw someone on his seat eating the food that he had collected and kept before going out. The person had self-appointed himself in his space and taken over.
John Joseph, another young man who spoke to 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE told the story of some professional ‘wedding crashers’ who just dress up every Saturday and go about town attending parties and wedding receptions they were not invited to. These young men, according to Joseph, usually dress very well and would always pass for any member of ‘the highest table’ at any occasion. But surprisingly, they know none of the people hosting the wedding or the party. They just attend, eat the party food, collect gifts and leave.
Another set of uninvited guests who go to occasions for ‘Item 7’ are the ones who, even though have been invited keep an eye on the high table. Immediately the occasion is over and the members of the high table take their leave, usually leaving behind the extra drinks and small chops that were kept for them, would rush and pack all that was left.
So, why do Nigerians scramble for things at parties that they ordinarily can afford? Is it sheer hunger, greed, lack or some form of psychological problem?
Moses Gargar, a student of the Sociology department at the Benue state university said, many people who exhibit these character traits may be suffering from ‘pathological psychological problem’. Gargar said, greed occurs when the natural human impulse to collect and consume useful resources like food, material wealth or fame overwhelms the constraints that maintain the social ties in a group
Greed, according to Mabel Angulu, a practicing psychologist in Abuja often arises from early negative experiences such as parental absence, inconsistency, or neglect. In later life, feelings of anxiety and vulnerability, often combined with low self-esteem, lead the person to fixate on a substitute for the love and security that he or she so sorely lacked.
