The Holy Bible says he who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.
However, this favour seems to have eluded many eligible bachelors as some of them, though desirous of obtaining it, may find a willing spinster but are unable to make her a wife due to economic constraints.
This challenge cuts across young men from various tribes.
In the not too distant past, one did not require to break a bank to be able to meet traditional marriage requirements, particularly among the Tiv tribe of Benue State.
All that has, however, changed, as families now give prospective in-laws lengthy lists of items to provide for traditional marriage rites.
It is not unusual to see items like wheelbarrows, umbrellas, gallons of vegetable and palm oil, bags of onions, chairs, tables, jewellery and bottle openers and huge amount of money as dowry, on marriage lists.
The financial value of these items often translates to hundreds of thousands and in some cases, millions of naira, making it difficult for those without deep pockets to meet.
It is for this reason that there is jubilation among prospective bachelors of the Tiv tribe, following a recent pronouncement by the paramount ruler, His Royal Majesty (HRM), Professor James Ortese Iorzua Ayatse, the Tor Tiv, capping expenditure for traditional marriage rites at N100,000.
The Tor Tiv, had at the recently held Tiv Women’s Summit in Gboko, decried the impact of acculturation on critic aspects of the Tiv culture, such as marriage practices.
Simplifying the marriage process
In a pronouncement, the paramount ruler abolished the practice wherein the family of the prospective bride gives a long list of items to be provided by the groom’s family before the marriage rites are deemed completed.
“No one in Tiv land should give you a list to buy items in the name of traditional marriage,” he declared.
He, instead, put in place a new standard, saying in addition to expenses not being above N100,000, the marriage should hold in the presence of three elders as witnesses.
Ayatse further proclaimed that there shall no longer be celebrations in the home of the bride but that of the groom as it used to be in the past, in line with Tiv cultural practices.
The changes, according to him, are aimed at ensuring that marriage remains accessible and financially achievable for all Tiv people.
Reflecting on the essence of Tiv tradition, the Tor Tiv lamented the influx of practices that have eroded the simplicity and meaning of traditional marriages in Tiv land, emphasising the importance of returning to the roots of Tiv culture, where marriages were based on mutual respect, simplicity, and genuine care for the welfare of the couple.
The Tor Tiv’s pronouncement has elicited a lot of reactions, with people speaking for and against it.
A kindred head, Orvesen Asema, expressed happiness over the development, saying it was a step in the right direction.
“Marriages were meant to unite families, not create financial burdens,” he stated.
According to Mr. Timothy Anchovur, a Sociology Lecturer at the Benue State University, Makurdi, acknowledged the powers of the paramount ruler, as the custodian of culture, to reform customs related to marriage.
He, however, said this should be done in consultation with his kinsmen and the people. Anchovor pointed out that making marriages affordable was good but also said “setting a fixed bride price could violate people’s rights to determining their own customs.”
“Additionally, fixing a specific amount could commodify daughters, which goes against societal norms. From a sociological perspective, parental consent and agreement between the couple should be sufficient in marriage customs,” he added.
In a reaction to the development, Ms. Iveren Akawe, an Economics student at the state College of Agriculture Yandev, offered a cautious perspective, as she said “cultural change takes time. While a price cap is helpful, we also need to address societal pressures that fuel extravagant weddings.”
A teacher, Esther Akaa, lamented that, “the high cost of marriage has delayed many weddings,” adding that, “this new policy gives us hope for a future where love can conquer financial barriers.”
A bachelor, Tiseer Agenawua, who is in a relationship with a woman from another Nigerian tribe, said the latest development was tempting and could make people like him reconsider their decisions.
“The Tor Tiv is making me reconsider marrying outside my Tiv tribe! I wish my future in-laws had the same simplified approach to bride price,” he added.
Parents and elders, however, expressed concerns. Mama Akua Veronica, a community leader, pointed out that while affordability is important, the value of marriage must not be compromised. “The bride price serves a purpose, symbolising the groom’s commitment,” she added.
The news also got netizens reacting
A user, @TivPride wrote: “Finally, someone is speaking up for our traditions! Tor Tiv’s message on simplifying traditional marriage is long overdue. #TivCulture #ProudTiv”
Another user, @ModernTivWoman praised the paramount ruler saying: “I applaud Tor Tiv’s efforts to simplify the marriage process. As a modern Tiv woman, I believe it’s time we focus on the essence of marriage, not the extravagance. #Simplicity #TivCulture”
Also contributing, @GlobalObserver said: “Tor Tiv’s call for reform in traditional marriage practices is a step in the right direction. It’s time we reexamine our cultural norms and ensure they reflect our values and principles. #CulturalReform #TivTradition”
As the Tiv Nation tries to balance tradition and modernity, it remains to be seen whether the new pronouncement would be adhered to by families.
But whether it succeeds or not, it has opened conversation about the future of marriages in Tiv land.
