Traditional marriage in Igbo land is very interesting, and differs from one state to the other, and one community to the other. It is common to get invited to an Igbankwu and certainly worth witnessing one.
Basically, like in many other tribes, a man and a woman have to agree to get married before meeting the family. So, at the point of marriage, it is not just an affair between the future husband, wife and immediate family alone, but also involves, the extended family and even distant villagers.
During the first visit to the bride’s family, her father welcomes the guests, invites his daughter to come and asks her if she knows the groom.
Mr Ngutor Indyer, a Tiv married to a lady from Anambra state told 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE that when her father-in- law asked his wife if she knew “these strangers”, his wife turned, looked in his direction and burst out in laughter. He said, his wife later told him that, when “my father asked that, it just downed on me that I was going to be living with a stranger all my life.”
Ngutor said, his wife however, answered in the affirmative, and so the marriage proceedings continued. He said, his inlaws cut him a lot of slack because he was a “visitor” from Benue State. He confessed that he had to be learning as his marriage was done.
For grooms who are Igbo, they are quite familiar with the proceedings of the day. The bride’s price settlement, known (Ika-Akalika) starts with the groom accompanied by his father and elders visiting the bride’s compound on another evening.
The Igbo value kolanut, and a lot of it is brought alongside a lot of wine during marriage ceremonies, which are presented to the bride’s father. After they have been served with a meal, the bride’s price is negotiated between the parents. In most cases, there is only a symbolic price to be paid for the bride but in addition other prerequisites, kolanut, goats, chicken, wine are listed as well.
Usually, it takes more than one evening before the final bride’s price is settled, offering guests from both sides a glamorous feast.
Another evening is spent for the payment of the bride’s price at the bride’s compound when the groom’s family hands over the money and other agreed prerequisites. The money and goods are counted, while relatives and friends are served drinks and food in the bride’s compound.
There are a lot of interesting activities that happen on this day. But this again differs from state to state. But first, the bride is made to go around selling boiled eggs to the guests, showing to both families that she has the capability to open a shop and make money, Nnamdi Chukwu, a young married man from Enugu told 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE.
This activity, Chukwu said, lights up the ceremony, as people share a lot of laughter. After she must have found the groom, she offers the cup to him and he sips the wine and miss his head, and two of them get up and amidst cheers, walk to the elders who then marries the couple traditionally.
During this ceremony, there is also the nuptial dance where the couple dances, while guests wish the newly weds prosperity by throwing money around them or putting bills on their forehead.
Peace Nwabueze, a newly wed youth corps member however said, during her marriage, she had told her friends to advise people not to spray money on her forehead. Asked why, Nwabueze smiled and said, “Ah, you don’t know what wicked village people can so.”
Nwabueze said, marriage in Igbo land is expensive, depending on which family you are marrying from. Some families would even behave as though they want the groom to return part of the school fees that was paid on his wife. In some Igbo communities, the more a girl is educated, the more costly her traditional marriage is.
Modernity and religion have led to a lot of changes in traditional marriage rites in Igbo land. Nowadays, church weddings follow the traditional marriage rites in Igbo land, as many Igbo are Christians.
During this ceremony, the bride’s train, made up of the bride followed by her single female friends, enters the church dancing on the music, while the guests bless the bride’s train by throwing money over the bride and her entourage.
The groom receives the bride at the altar for the final church blessing by the priest. Sometimes, the traditional marriage is combined with the reception that is then preceded by the church ceremony.
