In Ihievbe, a town in Owan East local government area of Edo State, marriage is a colorful ceremony and is used to cement relationships.
A lecturer in Kaduna Polytechnic, Dr Alabi Usman, spoke to 21st CENTURY CHRONICLE on the history and cultural significance of marriage in Ihievbe land.
He said in the past, marriages in most parts of Edo North were done through betrothal, between families that were close and enjoyed harmonious relationships or to preserve a shared history between the families.
When a child was born, a member of the family interested in cementing the ties through marriage would indicate that the child should be “watched over” for their son or daughter.
“It is still done today, but it is not binding on both parties who could grow up and find that their interests lie elsewhere,” Usman said.
Sharing his experience, he recalled that he got his wife through betrothal to a daughter of his father’s friend.
“To cement the relationship, I was expected to work on the girl’s father’s farm or help him with errands. Because I was in the city schooling, I ran errands for my father in-law. This is meant to cement the relationship and bring the families closer,” he added.
Continuing, he said while this was going on, the family of his betrothed watched to see if he was a person of good character and morals with a sense of responsibility and the lady also paid frequent visits to his family to help with chores and familiarise with them.
“My family, in turn also kept a keen eye on her to see her good qualities.”
A man married to an Ihievbe woman, Edwin Festus, said even though his wife was not betrothed to him, he followed the traditional courtship process after he met her and they got married a few months later.
“I started the process of the marriage by informing my parents of my intention to marry. I was asked about my wife’s background and the family she comes from. A date was then set according to their convenience, to follow me to the girl’s family.
“Usually the bride-to-be’s family will approve or disapprove of a relationship with the man. If the groom is approved, unlike in the case of betrothal, a marriage date is not set straight away. The aim is to allow both know how compatible they are, they are not expected to have carnal knowledge of each other, in this period of courtship.”
Ihievbe people recognise the age of 18 as the age of maturity for men and once a man clocks 18, he is initiated into manhood through Ugongon Festival. Right after this rite is completed he is expected to marry.
The age of maturity for women is 15 and once they clock this age, they can get married.
Chastity among women is highly encouraged in Ihievbe and this is why if a girl is discovered to be a virgin after marriage, a gift of an umbrella is sent to her parents to appreciate her chastity.
To carry out traditional marriage rites, some items are required, which the groom and his family are expected to present to the bride’s family. They include a gallon of palm oil, 50 big tubers of yam if the groom is Ihievbe and up to 100 if the man in a non-ondigene, a bunch of unripe palm fruit and another bunch that is ripe, two bags of salt for the paternal and maternal family, a bottle of honey, one packet sugar for prayers, a plate of kolanuts and alligator pepper for prayers.
Others are bush meat, which must include a mature antelope, dry fish, a bag of rice and condiments for entertainment, a keg of palmwine, a carton of beer/soft and hot drink.
During the traditional marriage rites, before the items brought by the groom’s family are accepted, the bride-to-be is asked if she accepts the man and if she responds in the affirmative, the family goes ahead.
During the marriage process, several maidens dress with their faces covered and the groom is asked to identify his bride among them. Sometimes, a groom would choose the wrong person and keep trying till he chooses his bride.
When the bride is identified, she is then handed over to the oldest man in the groom’s family, the man’s father, or guardian.
Bride price in Ihievbe is not fixed but largely determined by the family involved and usually about N20,000.
After the marriage rites, the bride is taken to her husbands family home and upon arrival, there is a gun salute to welcome her.
The significance of the gun is to announce her arrival, her place in the home and consolidate her presence.
This is important because in a family house with several wives, if a person that comes after her gets a gun shot, she is seen as the senior which entitles her to more privileges and higher standing in the family.
